Our Story
A Legacy of Mustache Excellence Since 1987
For over three decades, Mustache Harnesses Co. has been the trusted name in facial hair support and styling solutions. What began as one man's frustration with an unruly handlebar has grown into an industry-leading enterprise serving distinguished gentlemen worldwide.
The Bristleworth Vision
It was a crisp autumn morning in 1987 when our founder, Reginald P. Bristleworth III, woke to find his magnificent handlebar mustache had wilted overnight. The tragedy was immeasurable. His prized whiskers, carefully cultivated over seven years of dedicated grooming, hung limply against his cheeks like deflated dirigibles.
"There must be a better way," Reginald muttered to his reflection that fateful morning. And in that moment of despair, an industry was born.
Working tirelessly in his garage workshop, Reginald developed the first prototype of what would become the Executive Shaper Pro. His neighbors thought he had lost his mind. His wife threatened divorce. But Reginald persevered, driven by an unwavering commitment to mustache dignity.
Within three years, Mustache Harnesses Co. had grown from a one-man operation into a legitimate business with two employees and a modest office above a dry cleaner. Today, we serve customers in 47 countries and remain the world's premier provider of mustache support solutions.
Our Mission
To preserve and protect the dignity of distinguished facial hair through innovative support solutions, unwavering quality standards, and a deep respect for the mustache arts.
Every product we create is designed with one principle in mind: your mustache deserves better. Whether you're a CEO presenting to shareholders or a gentleman enjoying a quiet evening at home, your facial hair should reflect the excellence you embody.
Our Core Values
The principles that guide everything we do
Precision
Every millimeter matters in mustache maintenance. Our products are engineered to tolerances that would make aerospace manufacturers weep with envy.
Quality
We use only the finest materials: medical-grade silicone, aircraft aluminum, and genuine leather sourced from the most discerning Italian tanneries.
Passion
Our team doesn't just work with mustaches. We live and breathe facial hair. Several team members have dedicated their entire academic careers to whisker dynamics.
Integrity
We stand behind every product with our ironclad 30-day satisfaction guarantee. If your mustache isn't happier, neither are we.
Meet Our Leadership Team
The brilliant minds behind your mustache's best friend
Reginald P. Bristleworth IV
Chief Executive Whisker Officer
Carrying on his father's legacy, Reginald IV has expanded the company into 47 countries while maintaining a handlebar mustache that has won three consecutive regional grooming championships.
Dr. Millicent Van Follicle
Vice President of Curl Dynamics
Holder of a Ph.D. in Theoretical Whisker Physics from the University of Munich, Dr. Van Follicle leads our R&D team with an iron fist and an impeccable pencil mustache.
Harold "The Handlebar" McGee
Director of Customer Whisker Relations
A former competitive mustache athlete, Harold brings 23 years of hands-on facial hair experience to every customer interaction. His mustache has its own insurance policy.
Svetlana Petrova-Bristle
Chief Grooming Experience Architect
Former prima ballerina turned mustache visionary, Svetlana approaches product design with the grace of a swan and the precision of a Swiss watchmaker.
Theodore "Teddy" Whiskerstone
Senior Mustache Comfort Analyst
Teddy has personally worn every product for a minimum of 500 hours before approval. His dedication to comfort testing has resulted in three workplace safety awards.
Gertrude Bristleby-Smythe
Head of Nocturnal Hair Protection
A sleep scientist and facial hair enthusiast, Gertrude pioneered our entire Night Guards product line after years of research into whisker degradation during REM cycles.
Our Journey
Key milestones in mustache harness history
The Beginning
Reginald P. Bristleworth III invents the first mustache harness in his garage after a devastating nocturnal curl collapse.
First Patent
U.S. Patent #5,127,384 granted for "An Apparatus for the Structural Support and Aesthetic Enhancement of Upper Lip Facial Hair."
International Expansion
Opening of European headquarters in London. British gentlemen embrace the Executive Shaper Pro with remarkable enthusiasm.
Night Guard Revolution
Introduction of the DreamGuard product line, protecting mustaches during sleep for the first time in human history.
Fun-cessories Launch
The Handlebar Croc debuts, bringing a playful yet practical approach to facial hair accessories. Sales exceed all projections.
Digital Transformation
Launch of our e-commerce platform, bringing dignified facial hair solutions directly to gentlemen's doorsteps worldwide.
Continued Excellence
Serving over 100,000 distinguished customers across 47 countries, with a 98.7% satisfaction rate and growing.
Ready to Elevate Your Mustache?
Join the thousands of distinguished gentlemen who have discovered the Mustache Harnesses Co. difference.
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